So what is Solitary Refinement? It’s about change, especially change in me, and change by me that only I can do. It is changing in a way that brings about the beauty that God seeded in all of us when He knit us together in our mother’s womb (Psalm 139: 13). In the Psalms we learn we are wonderfully complex. His workmanship is marvelous. He saw us before we were born and every day of our lives was recorded in His book. Every day of our lives was laid out before a single day had passed. Can you imagine keeping track of the billions of of us? That is some book He’s got.
I know I haven’t lived as though I’m wonderfully complex or of marvelous workmanship. Something that has those characteristics is well taken care of. It’s precious. You treat it delicately and proudly- you honor it. Instead I’ve been condemning, rough and destructive. I’ve left years of emotional callouses that can’t easily be sanded away.
And here I sit today. With immense desire to be the woman God created when he formed me so many years ago. Wanting to believe I really, really am marvelous and wonderfully complex–an appreciation of God’s craftsmanship- nothing I’ve done on my own. Oh, I’m definitely complex, but I’m not seeing it in a wonderful way.
I want to be refined-not in solitude, but recognizing it is something I must do solitarily with God. I want to feel honest joy and belief when I read (Psalm 139:17-18) How precious are your thoughts about me, O God! They are innumerable! I can’t even count them; they outnumber the grains of sand! And when I wake up in the morning, you are still with me! His thoughts about me outnumber the grains of sand? That is truly awesome.